The ‘Perfect” Trap

Do you ever feel under pressure to be perfect?

In reality we are all already perfect because humans are by definition imperfect, flawed and not always right, and that's what makes us unique!

Take being a parent. From the minute your little bundle of joy is born you'll often feel under pressure to 'get it right', for them to speak, walk, put on weight etc 'at the right time' (if you allow yourself to be).

The reality is that Einstein didn’t utter a word until he was 4 years old!! I myself have 4 children. They are all different from one another and they all spoke, walked, learnt at different rates but they are all perfect to me!!

Then there’s the pressure as they’re growing up… too strict, not strict enough….. too kind, not kind enough …. Not loving enough …. Well that school was a bad decision I made that could affect his/her whole life ….. the worries and guilt trips are potentially endless but the reality is this ….. and I’m sure we all know this deep down but we too often get caught up in the perfect trap …. Don’t try to be perfect …. you’re not perfect …. Nobody is …. how can you be? The world is incredibly imperfect…. Human nature is flawed …. Life is hard …. as well as beautiful …..

Your job as a parent is to prepare your children for life… let’s just suppose for one minute that you achieve the lofty heights of being that ‘Perfect Parent’ (if there is such a thing) do you think you have prepared your child for an imperfect and flawed world? For all the trials and tribulations that could possibly come their way as they make their path in life? Tip-toeing around every little issue will not prepare them well for life because life will most certainly not wrap them up in cotton wool when they grow up and leave the nest …. which they most certainly will ….their expectations of the world would be dangerously high if you were 'perfect'.

So don’t fall into the perfect trap because being flawed and imperfect is the human condition and it is the way of things. Generation after generation have thought they could change this but history shows us that no system is perfect, no belief system is perfect, no law is perfect.

There must be laws and rules to an extent but there must also be truth. We should all be allowed to speak our truth even if it offends some people because ‘to err is human’ So you will make mistakes (but apologise if you do get it wrong of course). You are human. In getting stuff wrong you are actually getting it right!! Your children will be prepared for life as long as they always know you love them with all your heart and soul -

Don’t lie awake at night beating yourself up about mistakes you may or may not have made because it’s those mistakes that keep it real…. So don’t fall into the perfect trap because none of us are because that’s what humanity is …. Perfectly imperfect….

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